Month: February 2016

Notes from Botes

Individualism is an enemy of individuality… The obsession with “the self” is poison to selves.

It does you NO GOOD for me to do for you what you could do for yourself.

Do you like EXISTING? How much credit do you take for your existence?

IWRM: In Wrath Remember Mercy [Hab3:2] [1C2.2].

Why did you choose to give up your “autonomy”?


Coffee With Larry

John Wayne Gacy, Jr. …Lord please – save us! Deliver us from ourselves. Look beneath the floorboards for the secrets I have hid. GALATIANS 2:20. Slap our hands over our wretched mouths. Cease to commend and correct GOD! Quench thy arrogant accusations.

Doing good things doesn’t turn you into a good person. Reading the Bible doesn’t make you righteous. Tyler – your heart is deceitful. Your demanding spirit is still very much alive & active. Tyler – you are absolutely DETERMINED to maintain personal safety. For from the least to the greatest of them,everyone is greedy for unjust gain; and from prophet to priest, everyone deals falsely. They have healed the wound of my people lightly, saying, ‘Peace, peace,’ when there is no peace. (Jeremiah 6:13-14). Tyler’s GREEDY instincts. Tyler’s insanity of Self-Preservation. Do you not realize what you are fighting so hard to KEEP ALIVE? Jer. 17:9. That heart is KILLING you! It’s wrecking lives! It’s damning. *There is ONE destiny fitting for a heart like yours Tyler (Gal. 2:20). You’re caught up in the cosmetic; your endeavors & aims are aligned with superficial “healing”. …It’s a stomachache not stomach cancer – because I’m AFRAID! My fears shape my “truths.” When will Tyler agree to the surgery (Gal. 2:20)? The ruthless exposure of sin (Matt. 12:34-37).

Proverbs 4:23. …Without recognizing our self-protective style of relating and repenting of it, how can we say anything good? How can we love?


*But he wouldn’t face the truth.

Only being DESPERATE SICK of the wretchedness & CONVINCED of something higher and better – will result in a turning away from the normative demanding, self-protective, motivations beneath Tyler’s thoughts, words, and deeds.

Ps. 139 – Search me, and know my heart …see if there is any offensive way in me.

…At precisely the moment we most need to see ourselves, we are often preoccupied with another’s way of treating us.

GKBT – not for knowledge-sake (1 Cor. 8:1) …but for 1 C. 2.2 & 1202 & 24.27.

LUKE 18:13

TWO OPTIONS of Relating: Remain Comfortably Distant OR Open Up dem Cans o’ Worms.

*…now Tyler is exposed. His longings. Fears. Hurts. Disappointments. GRACE must NOW – ALL OF SUDDEN – BE REAL!!!!!!!! Theory and abstract fun times will no longer “get the job done!” …Tyler’s self-protection policy had been taken out of the filing cabinet (…but he thought he had locked it before leaving the house that morning), and his demandingness (…which he could’ve sworn he had left in the freezer behind the rotten potatoes – ensuring that no one would ever discover it) that was out in the open for everyone to see as well!

Honesty grows only in the soil of time, prayer, and trust.

HOW PEOPLE FUNCTION: SP (self-protection) & D (demandingness).

4 BR, 3 Bath

*He DOUBTED. He just didn’t believe that there was a 4 BR, 3 Bath out there for him. The agent said, “Rest assured, what you hope for is out there! Have faith – I’m convinced it is REAL though you haven’t seen it yet!”

*He was beginning to despise him. Though the messengers saw him, he hadn’t seen him in quite some time. Aside from the occasional diminutive and cryptic message, he hadn’t even heard from him. How was he to go after this little one? The terrain was daunting, and the search came with a 0% guarantee. IF he finds it, truly, he rejoices over it more than over the 99 that never went astray! May the little ones not perish.

*They had just come out of the great tribulation …but the BIG Question is did they wash their robes and make them WHITE in the BLOOD of the Lamb that was slain?

*FROM FOC – – – > “They had a little bit of everything and they had the common sense and good wit to know how to use it.” #i’mbetterthanyou

*You gots any of that SBW (soft black wool)? I needz it! #@ …I need the salve bro – not the substantive stuff …I needz the cosmetic superficiality bro. That’s what I know. And I know whats Iz knows! Misser Masser Bro Bra! PDCA (proud defiant conceited attitude).

*Dantes divine comedy. …You haven’t encountered it? What about that dude who said, “I uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you …therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes.” And what about that decent guy who really really really thought he was helping. He – of all people – was devoted, dutiful, zealous and righteous! But then he comes to see that he’s actually wretched, wicked, evil, blind, naked, poor, pitiable, and downright bad.

*But they are my family. Shouldn’t I love them? I can’t put anyone ahead of them. …At this point his elevator buddy asked him – do you want to love them? The guy said that he DID love them. But the EB persisted – – – do you actually want to love them – for REAL? Then you must not put them above their Maker/Creator. You don’t know HOW to love those people that you love. He does. You’ve gotta GO TO HIM first – and whence you go to Him first You won’t be able NOT to love Him FIRST and FOREMOST (like when Jane met Ransom). Disordered love is NOT loving.

*He was insecure. So he asked – – – > What do you perceive as inadequate and ridiculous?

*Is not the question that we incessantly ask each other… “Are you disappointed in me?”

*Development is a Life-Long process NOT a two-week product.

*She found him to be inadequate and ridiculous, but she was charitable enough to give him her pity.

*She doesn’t know that when she solicits a second opinion after having arrived at a definitive course of action with him about something they’ve already discussed – that she is making him feel inadequate and ridiculous.

*They had a little bit of everything, and they were blessed with the common sense and good wit to know how to use it.

“You’re Great!”

He didn’t believe it! They were telling him how “wonderful” he was, but he knew it wasn’t true. The compliments were insincere & shallow. At best, the flattery was ignorant and erroneous. He had been convicted, and there wasn’t any amount of superficial praise that was going to make him feel an better or different. His life was performanced-based and there was no way he could meet the standard on his own. “Live by the performance of thine own efforts …die by the performance of thine own efforts.”

Burn This House Down

“Will you help me? You must help me! You’re a Christian! It is your duty to help me!”

“I will try. What kind of help do you have in mind? Why do you want ME to help you? Are you sure I’m the person who is suited to help you? Do you know who I am? Are you confident that I will provide you with what you define as ‘help‘?”

“Come into this house with me! You can plainly see that this house has many ‘issues‘ to be addressed, and I can plainly see that you have tools and resources that would be beneficial in helping me with my house.”

“Two things – certainly you see the tools, but methinks that you don’t know how the tools are deployed and employed. For instance, one man sees a knife and perceives its utility at once! – a device for threatening & stabbing others, and a tool for slashing his own arms. Another man sees the knife and says, ‘Just the thing I need (after proper sterilization) for performing life-saving (healthly & helpful – ableit painful) surgeries on any & all who sincerely surrender & submit!’ …The other thing I am compelled to point out to you is simply this – – – > your house is on fire, and therefore I am inclined not to use a knife in such a scenario …rather we ought to call persons with large quantities of water, a means of transporting large quantities of water, and high-pressure hoses for shooting the flames into extinction.”

“But I love the fire! I DON’T want it to become extinct!”

“You are an arsonist!”


The mood? …what’s that got to do with it?

Well, you might think, “Not much,” but then again you never know (or at least you don’t know for certain at this moment). And how did that word, “Certain”, come to be a loaded term?

Words are like guns – any of them can become loaded – and all of them have potential to be deadly.

Is that you Ernest?

“Man cannot endure his own littleness unless he can translate it into meaningfulness on the largest possible level.”

Mr. Becker! Really? I am not sure I can tolerate such ravings!

“I think that taking life seriously means something like this: that whatever man does on this planet has to be done in the lived truth of the terror of creation …of the rumble of panic underneath everything. Otherwise it is false.”

Now, I really must insist Mr. Becker …keep your damned mouth shut!

Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”

Not you too Wesley. To the gallows with you both!

“Only through weakness and pain did God save us and show us, in the deepest way possible, the infinite depths of His grace and love for us. Here is infinite wisdom in one stroke – the just requirement of the law fulfilled and forgiveness of lawbreakers secured. Only through weakness and suffering could sin be atoned – it was the only way to end evil without ending us.”

“The other gods were strong, but Thou was weak. They rode, but Thou didst stumble to a throne. But to our wounds only God’s wounds can speak, And not a god has wounds but Thou alone. – Edward Shillito, “Jesus of the Scars

Tim! …and Mr. Shillito! I’m surprised at you! I had taken you for men with more optimism. To the gallows with you both!

*Grief implies a kind of being overtaken by emotion and this is a very uncomfortable place for us as humans to be.”

I am always in control of my faculties, and I don’t even know who you are! To the gallows with you!



Art is critical because it helps us tap into THE REAL (the world of the UNSEEN).

Attention is a scarce resource. …and that which has our attention is sucking the life out of us (e.g. porn, casinos, advertisements, packaging, etc.).

We take clean air for granted.

Just as clean air makes it possible for us to breathe, so silence makes it possible for us to ponder.

Mrs. May & Mrs. Greenleaf.


Num 23/22 *For you …like HORNS OF A WILD OX.

NAH Disease – – – > Have it, Hate it, Hope. Diagnose, Despise/Disdain, Do Something ‘Bout It.

“There is always indwelling sin in us, but the great work of Gal. 2:20 ultimately eclipses all else, and the good work of God is carried on – all the way to completion (Phil. 1:6). Picking up a cross and following the Cross-bearing King (Mark 8:34) is a Spirit-induced resolution to walk the hard path (and this is the greatest testimony to the presence of God/activity of the Holy Spirit …for there is no human/“logical” explanation why anyone would choose such a path unless that person has been dominated and defined by a Crucified King).”